Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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