My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i dont even know how to be here
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
