I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
