Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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