saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
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