i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize