my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
