That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
