i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
you told grandpa to call you daddy
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
