Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize