i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
