I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I just googled if crying burns calories
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
