No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
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