??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
NoShamevember. You game?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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