Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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