if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
