You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
she smelled like a LAN party
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I think people are normalizing furries
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize