dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
