Whod you bang
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I faked an abortion last night.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
