break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
