And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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