I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
