lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
