every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize