i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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