i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
She told me I should be a condom model.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
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