why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
