We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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