I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize
