At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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