when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
