office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
