help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
