it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
