bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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