we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
