Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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