I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
