You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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