that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
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