i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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