I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I have feelings that need drinking.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
