I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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