i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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