My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Randomize
