we have officially lost it.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
