sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
He felt like a one man threesome
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
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