Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
