First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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