I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Houston, we have a squirter
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
