there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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