I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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