i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
