I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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