Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
