eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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