JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
