The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
