Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize